Dawning Faith

When I first came to Yale as a freshman, I thought God was going to make me the greatest doctor in the whole world. I must say I was very ambitious and enthusiastic. I was quickly absorbed into the intensive academic life at Yale, and soon I became entirely occupied with my studies. My life had no room for anything but the pursuit of my own success. At the end of the day I couldn’t even remember what the day’s weather was like. God was, if anything, one of the least concerns of my life.

Although I considered myself a Christian, I did not like to talk about God. At such an intellectual place like Yale, it seemed almost silly to believe in God. But, I continued to be involved in church activities as I always had. I considered myself very religious.

In my freshman year a few of my friends were involved in a Christian fellowship. Many times they tried to get me to go to their meetings. Each time I politely refused their invitation. They would ask me why. Then I would just smile and say, “You don’t understand….” I never finished my sentence in front of them. But in my mind I would always say this: “I grew up in church. I go to church twice a week, and I never skip Sunday worship. Even if I had time to go to the fellowship, I’d rather take a nap.”

After the first year I finally ended up going to my friends’ fellowship. As we were singing I looked around. Some people had their heads bowed, and others had their hands raised. “How weird!” I thought to myself. But, there was life in their faces. There was something new to me in the air, and I knew that God was with them. I was simply shocked. Jesus in my life had been as dead. I had never known Him as risen Lord. I was as much bothered as I was shocked by it.

Then I got to know someone from the fellowship. There was something special about her. She had a joy and peace that I had never seen in anyone’s life. I did not know much about Jesus, but I knew that He was alive in her life. I decided to get to know Jesus myself. The summer after that year I earnestly sought the Lord in prayer and in reading the Scripture. The Bible had always been very boring to me. But this time when I read through the New Testament, I was struck by how beautifully simple the Gospel message was.

“So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” (Luke 15) Just like the prodigal son returning to his father, I simply chose to get up and come to Jesus. Though I walked in my own ways, putting my own desires far above Him, He still had compassion on me and loved me first. When I confessed Him as my Lord He forgave all my sins. Because of His precious blood shed on the hill of Calvary, I was set free.